where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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