I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
