I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize