hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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