i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Sober January is a disaster.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize