just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This house was built for laser tag.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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