I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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