Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
