On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You don't make any sense
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