Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
