I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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