So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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