my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize