He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Shame - the story of my life.
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