she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
