I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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