it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
