How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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