oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize