What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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