it hurts more in the daytime
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
