Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
