the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
