Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Randomize
