I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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