she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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