OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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