Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
