it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
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JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
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Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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