I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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