My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
