Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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