And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
