I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
