Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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