Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
