Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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