Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
