is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize