can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I wish you could order shots online.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize