girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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