Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
