Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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