Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize