Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
