I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
