I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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