Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
