dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
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He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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