he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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