He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
