is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
