i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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