he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
