using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
