The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize