I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The adults are the big ones right?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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