I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
