i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize