just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize