i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
