You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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