Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
